i stayed up all night having new conversations with old feelings.
there were thank you’s i never thought i’d hear coming in from galaxies away, just as i realize i’d never need them.
but it felt good to say those things knowing in time they would reach the ears they were meant for.
maybe no one will ever get me in time.
she tells me i’m miles ahead, which to me sounds like a sweet way to say ‘left behind’.
a man tells me in the end it will be a friend who kills me,
and even tho that’s something i’ve known for a while… i can see it now.
i’m numb to it…
i’m going to die.
so, as i’m saying everything i ever wanted to say, i’m knowing…
these are just good byes.
this isn’t my life.