+ touring astrocity 

walls bleeding 

through clear day air

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

… i shouldn’t have looked

~

jump from my skin

can’t take its stretching

can’t stand the blender

bones spreading

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

… i shouldn’t have looked

~

drugs burnt curtains down,

who wears the crown?

~

i see

i see

 

… i shouldnt have looked

… i shouldn’t have..

 

why do i keep..

fuck.

~

it was better w the play on

i asked for the truth

thats when i didn’t know

i didn’t really want to know

 

that none of it was real

it was all for show

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

~

what is life

taking life

to make me live?

 

am i in

the belly of the beast

or satan’s crib?

 

baby…

 

fuck it 

take a slip

make it drip

 

stare at the ground 

until it stars back

 

go far back

 

to two virgins spitting in

splitting wind

 

keep looking…

 

oh it’s orange down there

 

keep looking..

 

oh, it’s orange inside.

 

daddy’s choking mom out

fuck.

wrong route.

 

that night,

living past life,

paid it back…

with tax right?

 

fuck me.

no refunds?

 

so broke.

no breaks.

 

walked through a portal,

now i can’t make it back.

 

trace it back.

 

time warp,

big sur

the kid knows,

i’m a bit grown,

but still too small for 

that big throne

 

so, i screen calls

climbing up my phone

 

from clones

doing selfies with drones

 

feeling like

lice crawling in my pupils

walking out my nose

 

she takes the hose

 

put’s it on her flower

messing with the mud

 

playing in the garden

 

waiting for the flood

 

took the big boat

out on long pond

 

why look back?

no point.long gone,

gone wrong.

 

i was counting details,

attention to retail…

taping 2-4-8’sto my emails.

 

if you saw it

like i did…that’s two for infinity 

 

explore it 

explore it

 

there’s more if

we can afford it

 

if we can’t endure it

use my endorphins

on two blue dolphins 

 

reset. 

 

find the packets

lose the jacket

do the jackson

 

im sorry miss…

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

 

brown bagging

tree’s snapping

god asking 

 

if ive learned enough…

and i heard it but

still said, ‘hell na… turn me up’

at burning man, burning up

 

in the fireworks

cus we’re all popping

on the internet now.

bursting into flames.

 

no matter where you’re @

there’s a cursor on your name

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

~

feminisms not a good excuse

to abuse yourself bb.

arguing with reflections

from intersecting realities is hard

and swinging at shadows is easy

 

when it’s telling me 

our future’s already gone

can’t turn back now

~

… i shouldn’t have looked

~

why

do i need to know why?

~

… i shouldn’t look

~

now

do i need to see how?

~

… i shouldn’t look

~

 

i’m not brave

the way they are

i’ve seen their flesh open

 

my mind filled 

with mine fields

 

wine spills

covering carpet.

 

if time heals

how come i still can’t 

 

get the razor

out of your hand?

 

damn.

 

maybei’m not a man.

 

i’m sorry, i was just a boy..

 

i was just pretending...

 

now i’m not even here,

 

but i hope you know

i always stayed with you.

 

that bed

never left my head.

 

that lead 

never left my legs

 

gravity keeps pulling me back

 

maybe that explains

my obsession with the moon

 

it’s june but..

~

…. i still shouldn’t have looked.

~

i’ll be with her soon.

i promise this time,

~

i won’t look… back.

~

push her kneeback

till it cracks

then go

three stacks on a track

b’s wax in her abs.

relapse in her lap.

she snaps on the flag

says “put it all in me,

then crawl in me,

then fall with me.

break walls with me.

you can have it all,

or you can have it all with me.

why would you run to god…?

you can’t see god in me?”

 

and that’s when i see,

it’s all flimsy.

 

she’s sick of watching me

living in a war with me

 

she cries, 

“you’ll never survive,

you’re on the edge of a knife,

and this is your life.

please don’t cut it short

for the sort of sport

that’s only good for entertainment.”

that’s when it came in.

 

i’m the prey

they’ve always prayed on

praying i became them.

 

if i sold my soul

someone owes me payment

 

cus i’ve been on the road

before they were making pavement

 

but it’s cool. i won’t say shit

 

cus in the end 

it was someone else who

saved me.


… i’m really glad i looked…

 

outside.

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