+ touring astrocity 

walls bleeding 

through clear day air


… i shouldn’t have looked

… i shouldn’t have looked


jump from my skin

can’t take its stretching

can’t stand the blender

bones spreading


… i shouldn’t have looked

… i shouldn’t have looked


drugs burnt curtains down,

who wears the crown?


i see

i see


… i shouldnt have looked

… i shouldn’t have..


why do i keep..



it was better w the play on

i asked for the truth

thats when i didn’t know

i didn’t really want to know


that none of it was real

it was all for show


… i shouldn’t have looked


what is life

taking life

to make me live?


am i in

the belly of the beast

or satan’s crib?




fuck it 

take a slip

make it drip


stare at the ground 

until it stars back


go far back


to two virgins spitting in

splitting wind


keep looking…


oh it’s orange down there


keep looking..


oh, it’s orange inside.


daddy’s choking mom out


wrong route.


that night,

living past life,

paid it back…

with tax right?


fuck me.

no refunds?


so broke.

no breaks.


walked through a portal,

now i can’t make it back.


trace it back.


time warp,

big sur

the kid knows,

i’m a bit grown,

but still too small for 

that big throne


so, i screen calls

climbing up my phone


from clones

doing selfies with drones


feeling like

lice crawling in my pupils

walking out my nose


she takes the hose


put’s it on her flower

messing with the mud


playing in the garden


waiting for the flood


took the big boat

out on long pond


why look back?

no point.long gone,

gone wrong.


i was counting details,

attention to retail…

taping 2-4-8’sto my emails.


if you saw it

like i did…that’s two for infinity 


explore it 

explore it


there’s more if

we can afford it


if we can’t endure it

use my endorphins

on two blue dolphins 




find the packets

lose the jacket

do the jackson


im sorry miss…


… i shouldn’t have looked


brown bagging

tree’s snapping

god asking 


if ive learned enough…

and i heard it but

still said, ‘hell na… turn me up’

at burning man, burning up


in the fireworks

cus we’re all popping

on the internet now.

bursting into flames.


no matter where you’re @

there’s a cursor on your name


… i shouldn’t have looked


feminisms not a good excuse

to abuse yourself bb.

arguing with reflections

from intersecting realities is hard

and swinging at shadows is easy


when it’s telling me 

our future’s already gone

can’t turn back now


… i shouldn’t have looked



do i need to know why?


… i shouldn’t look



do i need to see how?


… i shouldn’t look



i’m not brave

the way they are

i’ve seen their flesh open


my mind filled 

with mine fields


wine spills

covering carpet.


if time heals

how come i still can’t 


get the razor

out of your hand?




maybei’m not a man.


i’m sorry, i was just a boy..


i was just pretending...


now i’m not even here,


but i hope you know

i always stayed with you.


that bed

never left my head.


that lead 

never left my legs


gravity keeps pulling me back


maybe that explains

my obsession with the moon


it’s june but..


…. i still shouldn’t have looked.


i’ll be with her soon.

i promise this time,


i won’t look… back.


push her kneeback

till it cracks

then go

three stacks on a track

b’s wax in her abs.

relapse in her lap.

she snaps on the flag

says “put it all in me,

then crawl in me,

then fall with me.

break walls with me.

you can have it all,

or you can have it all with me.

why would you run to god…?

you can’t see god in me?”


and that’s when i see,

it’s all flimsy.


she’s sick of watching me

living in a war with me


she cries, 

“you’ll never survive,

you’re on the edge of a knife,

and this is your life.

please don’t cut it short

for the sort of sport

that’s only good for entertainment.”

that’s when it came in.


i’m the prey

they’ve always prayed on

praying i became them.


if i sold my soul

someone owes me payment


cus i’ve been on the road

before they were making pavement


but it’s cool. i won’t say shit


cus in the end 

it was someone else who

saved me.

… i’m really glad i looked…



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